By Bikram Vohra

Every trip home to India is bathed in revelation. Every TV channel shows someone crying, dying or being mourned which does wonders for your mood, since you wake up to this caterwauling and eat and sleep to the same ‘woe is me’ sentiment.

So it came as a refreshing change to read in the Hindustan Times an article edifying the creation of cakes for bachelor parties which are shaped like women’s body parts. Awesome. (Groom’s night out, HTCity. To go to the HTCity page pdf, scroll down the sidebar on the left).

The guy who wrote it even gave his byline and I wonder what he went home and said to his loved ones: whatastoryIwrotetodayallaboutbumsandtitsincreamandconfection?

You have to admit that a half page in a daily dedicated to such screaming stupidity is inspiring, especially when the piece is treated like some sort of cultural revolution. The hip and trendy are doing this, I read. This is ‘in’. People are thronging to buy the cakes, yes,yes, yes, they are selling like hot cakes(did I just say that?)

Hi Mom, can I have a woman’s body part for dessert. How about her buns with a tight red bikini, mmmmm, that will be tasty….why not, after all, that’s the illustration in the paper.

I believe it is the piece de resistance at the bachelor night thing before the wedding and in my uptight, old-fashioned mind I am thinking what would the bride say if the groom told her that he and the boys had a ball scoffing cake made of a female breast with nips and all.

Would she look at him and say, my hero, my Galahad, my knight in shining armour, what a man?

I have heard crude. And I have heard coarse. And I have seen pathetic. But this is so grotesque that it leaves me in a sort of speechless fugue. Imagine walking into this party and viewing the half crossed legs of a woman made from marzipan and coconut with a layer of chocolate. Does wonders for the appetite. And this is supposed to be fun?

This is like style or great living…wo, we certainly are advancing in the wrong direction. You talk about taking the cherry on the cake, this is a whole new meaning to gross bad taste…no pun intended. Who are these people? And what is the follow up article…girls night out with a p…. carved from a pineapple?